So, yeah… that’s where I’m headed. I’ve been without health coverage since Dec 1, 2009 when my COBRA premium went back up to full price. The politicians – who all have GREAT health insurance – took their time extending the subsidy, and by the time everything was signed off on, it was too late. Some might say I should’ve paid the high premium, and after the subsidy extension passed let the overage be applied to future months. That could’ve worked… had I had the almost $500 premium. Sorry, I don’t have a money tree growing in my proverbial (and fictional) back yard.

So, in order to get into the federal pre-existing health conditions insurance pools, a person has to have not had health insurance for at least 6 months, and must have an insurance denial letter dated within the 6 months prior to the application date. I met the first condition but not the second, so I had to apply for a policy and be rejected. No problem; I have Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (among other things it caused). That makes me an auto-reject.

So, I surfed myself on over to Aetna’s website and spent several HOURS completely, and truthfully, filling out the application. I gave my payment information (unlike UnitedHealthcare, they don’t actually take your money until you are approved for a policy), and awaited a decision.

It didn’t even take 48 hours. The next day, I logged in to check my application status, and there it was as plain as day…

Ironically, while my greenbacks were no good to Aetna for a health insurance policy, they’re good enough for the discount drug, vision, and dental card program they tried to sell me. I wouldn’t sign up for that program, even if it was the best one on the market, just on general principle (GP). If I’m not good enough for them one way, I’m not good enough for them another way. Aetna can kiss my grits.

So… how do you think that’s going to work out for you on Judgment Day? I’m just sayin…

If health care isn’t a right, then whatever laws that say emergency care must be provided in the ER need to be repealed. Let’s just go all the way with it, then. Let’s have everyone fend for themselves, and to hell with compassion or helping those less fortunate. If you can’t afford health care then you have the RIGHT to die and be cremated on the cheap, instead of buried, with the cost of cremation coming out of an Indigent Cremation Fund that everyone pays a nominal flat fee into every year. Your relatives can dig a hole in the backyard and bury your urn there, right next to beloved Fido, if they want.

After all, God didn’t bless any of us with anything, or make it possible for us to have what we have. We did it ALL on our own and by ourselves. God who? Let’s just all stop pretending. Why even FAKE anymore? I mean, really, it’s time to end the charade. We have become our own Gods (yes, with the capital G), and there is not enough room for us and him, so he has to go. Oh, wait, he’s already gone. We just need to stop pretending he’s still here, still relevant, and still matters.

I mean, since he didn’t, and never has, done anything for us anyway, why keep him around? After all, we worked for our money and why should we have to give it away in tithes and offering for a building we only use once a week, if that? If our hurting and sick neighbor who we CAN see doesn’t deserve any of our largesse, then why should we give anything to some “being” – a perfect, and perfectly healthy one at that – we’ve never seen? Like, what kind of sense does that make?

So, let’s just cut the crap and get real. Anything that’s not a right needs to be eliminated right now, so we all can keep as much of our hard earned money in our pockets as possible. Poor, sick people? Eh well. They’ll die off sooner or later, and just could be better off for it. Right?

/sarcasm

Wow, time really flies! I just looked at my last post and it’s dated May 26th. I didn’t think I’d been off the blog that long. So, gosh, what’s been going on with me?

Well, I started dating someone, and we’re about 4 months in, now. Things are going very well, and I’m very happy. At the same time, I hadn’t been feeling very well and dreaded going to the doctor, especially now that I don’t have health insurance, anymore. I kept putting off going to the doctor hoping I would get better. I never did, so I broke down and made an appointment.

As far as I know, the lupus is still in remission. But, I also have Fibromyalgia, which is the culprit this time. It’s weird in that most people with lupus also have “fibro”, but most people with fibro don’t have lupus. I don’t know how that works, but it turns out that I was feeling bad because I was having a pretty bad fibro flare. My muscles were really tight all over, and as if that wasn’t enough, all the tendons and soft tissues around my joints (both shoulders, both elbows, both knees, both hands, both ankles, both hips, and my neck) were inflamed, which made them super sore and stiff. And, I had been like that since about March, getting progressively worse, before I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

I was put back on prednisone for a month long high dosage taper, and prescribed a muscle relaxant and a pain reliever. I felt a lot better within 24 hours, and dramatically better within 48 hours. At 72 hours in (3 days), I literally felt like I had a new lease on life. I felt so good! Then I had a very sobering thought… I realized that I had forgotten what it felt like to feel good. Isn’t that a shame? Then, I had another sobering thought: I might be one of the people who can never fully come off of their meds. What made me think of that was when I told my primary care doctor that my (former) rheumatologists had taken me off all meds related to lupus or fibro, he dead-panned that that might be the reason why I was feeling so bad.

And, y’all, when I say I was feeling bad, I mean I was feeling bad. I scared the poor medical assistant so badly when she put the rubber tourniquet around my arm to draw blood! I hollered, and I couldn’t help it. One of the places I was having severe pain and soreness was in both my elbows. The med assistant tied the tourniquet right around the most tender part of my upper arm, and I was hollering before I could catch myself. End result? A nervous med assistant and the doctor taking the blood samples, himself. He had to put the tourniquet farther up my arm, and it was somewhat of an ordeal to get any blood out of me.

I still feel a lot better than I did, but my body has now adjusted to the prednisone and other meds, so my activity rate is slowing back down to normal. But, I tell ya, those first few days were AWESOME!! So, that’s pretty much been what’s going on with me, and why I haven’t been blogging much. I wasn’t feeling well, and so wasn’t doing anything, and so had nothing to talk about.

Yeah, I got some camera lenses during this time, but I couldn’t really use them since I really wasn’t up to doing too much, physically. But, since I knew there was going to come a time when I would be using them, I bought them anyway. Before I go any further, I just have to say that my boyfriend has been wonderful with all of this. I know he’s nervous about the lupus, fibro, and other issues, but he’s not letting “what if’s” scare him away. He’s the real deal, and I’m glad I met him, and I’m glad he’s a part of my life.

Well, that’s it for the update. Stay tuned for some fireworks pics I took this weekend at the city of Morrow’s annual SummerFest on the Green.

I just watched a documentary about a relatively recently discovered tribe of natives in the Amazon rain forest. These people eat only manioc that they grow themselves, and what they can gather or kill in the rain forest.

They don’t have access to candy, cakes, pies, fast food or other junk foods. They drink water, and they walk for miles everyday… See More because they don’t have refrigeration, so they can only gather or kill what can be immediately consumed. For many months of the year, they survive on very little.

Why did I see overweight adults, including one morbidly obese woman just in the one family grouping that was profiled in the documentary? Surely, these people are making quality deposits into their bodies, right?

Being “fit” is now the catch-phrase for having a nice body, primarily to attract (or keep the attraction of) the opposite sex. This new catch-phrase is rooted in VANITY, and that’s why I resist it, personally.

FEW of the people I hear touting the “fitness” thing emphasize being HEALTHY. Those that do often confuse being healthy with being thin. To them, an overweight (and therefore unfit) person cannot possibly, in a million years, be healthy.

This is not all the time true; in fact, I would say it’s not true enough that our culture needs to start thinking differently. There are plenty of people in this country who always eat the right things, get plenty of water, and even exercise hard 3-4 days a week who will NEVER EVER EVER be considered “fit” just to look at them. But, ask their doctors and they’re the picture of HEALTH, internally.

Then, what about the ones who watch what they eat, but don’t exercise at all, and are still considered to be very healthy, medically? Besides reasons rooted in vanity, what incentive does this group have to get “fit = thin”, if they’re ALREADY healthy?

None of this applies to me, personally, because I’ll never be completely healthy or fit again on this side of Heaven. But, I’m just sayin…

I got my “Grady card”, but will have to pay more than I expected. Apparently, they changed the income guidelines in August 2009. They’ve started charging patients a copay for office/clinic visits as well. So, I have a $50 copay ($75 for ER) just to be seen, and have to pay half of the remaining charges for not only office visits, but also for lab work, scans, x-rays, and prescriptions. So, I will only be going to the doctor every 4-5 months. Too bad, so sad if they want to monitor anything at closer intervals than that.

Anyway, I ended up getting a little testy with the financial counselor I saw yesterday. I was required to bring 3 pieces of mail as proof of residency, as well as proof of income. I took my proof of income letter from UNUM, two utility bills, and another piece of mail that happened to also be from UNUM. The counselor told me that she couldn’t use the third piece of mail, because it was from the same company that my income letter was from.

I told her that I wasn’t told that when I called earlier. That’s when she took leave of her senses, and thought she was talking to a hoodrat, and tried to clown me by telling me that I “should have known”. I asked her how was I supposed to know, and she told me that it was “logical” to assume that one of the pieces of mail couldn’t be from the same company my proof of income letter was from. Can you believe this trifling shit? I know I’m smart, but damn… I’m not omniscient!

I told her it was NOT logical to assume, and that it may seem logical to her because she did this every day and knew what all the little rules were. I told her that it was not MY job to know this stuff, but their job to make sure people had the right information. When I said that, she got this little look on her face and said “Oh, I see”. The NERVE! Right after that, she “remembered” that she could use my driver’s license as the third proof of residence, since it had my current address on it.

I know I could have handled her better, but by the time she got to me I was cold, tired, and in pain. These people just really have no clue, or just don’t care about, what some people have to go through just to get to their office. The last thing we need is to be played to the left!

Lord Jesus, please don’t let these Negroes test me…

Well, I’m finally getting down to Grady Memorial Hospital. I’m without private insurance now, and they operate on a sliding fee scale based on income. I’m still on LTD so I HAVE to be under a doctor’s care. President Obama’s health bill is a godsend for people like me. I can afford to contribute meaningfully to my health costs, but I can’t do it all. I shouldn’t have to move to the ‘hood and dodge bullets just to be able to afford the care I need for Lupus and all the other stuff that’s wrong with me.

I don’t have a sense of entitlement, but I do have a sense of fairness and I shouldn’t be a sitting duck in a bad area just to stay well. The irony is that the stress of living in a bad area would make me sicker and end up costing US taxpayers more money. And yes, I do pay taxes, as in having to send a check to the IRS or the state. So I get to complain, too!

Well, I made it past UNUM’s 24 month medical review. For the first 2 years on long term disability (LTD), a claimant is accessed to see if they can work a job doing the same type/kind of work they were doing when they became disabled. Once a claimant has been on LTD for 24 months, their medical status is re-evaluated to determine if they can do any kind of gainful employment.

UNUM’s vocational rehabilitation department determined that the only jobs that qualified as gainful employment, in my area, were full-time positions. The reviewing doctor’s job was to determine if my health problems, and limitations, would prevent me from being able to work full-time. I’m relieved to say that UNUM’s doctor determined that I cannot work full-time. So, I will continue to receive my LTD benefits and they will stop breathing down my neck like they have for the last 2 years (apparently they let up once a claimant enters “extended benefits” status). Sure, they were always VERY NICE about being nosy as all hell, but still… LOL.

I haven’t gone anywhere, you guys. I created some videos, and a screencast, but the crazy weather has had me at best, very uncomfortable. So, the last few weeks I’ve slowed down considerably, especially since I’m trying not to take a Tramadol every time my arthritis or fibro pain flares up. I don’t like the way it makes me feel, but, you know, sometimes Aleve can’t bring the kind of relief I need. I hate all this cold, wet weather!

Just bear with me, guys. Thanks.

I recently found out that I fall within the income range to receive free medical care and prescriptions from Grady Hospital, so I let COBRA go. With the COBRA subsidy, I was spending close to $400 a month between premiums, doctor visits, and prescriptions. Without the subsidy, I’d pay around $650 a month. With Grady, I’ll pay nothing. I was SHOCKED to find this out, because I fully expected to contribute something to my health care costs. But, far be it for me to look a proverbial gift horse in the mouth.

I only had 6 months of COBRA eligibility left, anyway. The insurance company said at the end of the 18 month term I could convert to an individual policy, but with all my pre-existing conditions, I’m sure I would not have been able to afford their premium. And, even if I could, I’d be paying more for less coverage, have higher co-pays, and higher deductibles, etc. It’s in my best interest to get on with Grady. Yeah, I’ll have long waits to see the doctor and to pick up my meds, but a couple of good books and my iPod will help.

It’s 8:30 PM and I’m trying my best to make it to 10 PM. What I hadn’t been able to accomplish in the last 3 months, after a bad cold this past September got me off schedule, my holiday house guests accomplished in a week: getting my sleep cycle back on a normal schedule.

When I tell you that the first few days were HELL, please believe me, LOL. But, my cousin needed me and she had a very active and very verbal 23 month old in tow, so I did what I had to do. It sucked that as soon as I started feeling human again – as opposed to feeling like a sleep walking zombie – she had figured out her next move (the visit wasn’t 100% social) and was going back to South Carolina. But, I’m glad I was able to help her in her time of need. I told her, but I don’t think she really understands, how much she and her boys helped me get my sleep cycle back on track.